The name of the movie should have been The Legendary Loser Michael Kohlhaas. Please do yourself a favor and dont waste your time with watching this movie, because time is the only thing we cant buy 🙁 What a failure… Now the reason I watched this movie was
1) I like Mads Mikkelsen since Adam’s Apple.
2) I like 16th century, Middle Ages the Medieval!
3) I like revenge themes, the noble man rebels against the bad Baron, always favorite, kind of like Braveheart but a 2013 version with Mads Mikkelsen this time! (There is no revenge)
Point 3 was my view after watching the trailer, and said yeah cool I will watch it, because in the trailer it shows that Michael Kohlhaas is rebelling against the Baron(the narrator in the trailer says it as well) and on the movie cover he has a big sword, obviously you will think that he is a warrior and will use the sword. But he draws his sword only 1 time in the entire movie and to fight with a peasant who cant even swing it.
So chronologically, Michael Kohlhaas is a merchant and sells horses. When he is taking his horses to the city for selling, the new Baron blocks his way and asks for a tax to pass from the bridge. This is new for Kohlhaas, he wants to ask if the Baron has this right in the city and leaves his 2 horses as deposit until the case is clear. When Kohlhaas returns back after selling his horses in the city he finds the 2 black stallions he left are in scars and wounds, also learns that the Baron was trolling him, there was no such tax payment. So he doesnt accept his horses back in this condition, goes to the court and complains about it but the Baron has a relative in court and the results are always in the favor of the Baron, nothing helps. So Kohlhaas wants to complain to the Princess about this because he believes justice is very important and he is right so he should fight until the end. I didnt understand much why but visiting the Princess and asking for a solution was very dangerous so his wife wanted to go instead of Kohlhaas, Kohlhaas unwillingly accepts this. Later comes his wife in a cart, beaten to death. So he loses his wife. Kind of Braveheart until here, we do know the story, but the technology is improved and new actors could have added some excitement I thought.
Kohlhaas has tried every diplomatic way and in the end has lost his wife, he doesnt see any other way than rebelling against the Baron and Princess, he attacks with his few skilled servants to the Baron’s mansion, kills the Baron’s men, some of the poor men under the Baron of course would like to join Kohlhaas and his cause, but unfortunately they are late for the Baron, he has already abandoned the mansion when they arrived, so they seek him. The legend of Kohlhaas grows fast, he starts recruiting men, growing rapidly, all his men adore and praise him, bring him gifts etc. Later they find out where the Baron is hiding, in an abbey with nuns. Kohlhaas’s men attack the abbey, a commander of Princess arrives for help and take out the Baron, Kohlhaas’s men attack the convoy, Kohlhaas’s right hand, his servant Cesar dies in this attack, it is a 20 vs 20 fight, finished very quick, bird view, Kohlhaas watches the fight over a hill, Kohlhaas’s men win but they find out that the Baron they caught was a decoy, so the original Baron has escaped again. Kohlhaas’s fame and armies grow, he reaches a bigger army than Princess’s army. With power comes corruption, one of Kohlhaas’s man, his servant one of the first fighters on his side, beats the poor villagers and steal their food. When Kohlhaas finds this out since he is a righteous man he gets very angry and hangs this man, in front of everybody, to make an example. An old priest comes and asks Kohlhaas to finish this madness and forget everything and then the priest would listen to his confession and forgive him for his sins then he would live a happy life forever, Kohlhaas says under one condition I will disband my army, if the Baron gets his punishment. Priest says no this is not acceptable, so the priest leaves but Kohlhaas begs for forgiveness and wants the priest to accept his condition, however priest says no again and leaves. So you can understand here that Kohlhaas is a very religious man and wants to be on the good side of God. The Princess is stuck in the town surrounded by Kohlhaas and Kohlhaas has much more men than Princess so he can easily overpower her. Princess sends an agreement, if he disbands his army and all men leave their weapons she will see Kohlhaas’s case on the court again and guarantee justice, Baron will get his punishment. But if one of his men do a bad deed, the agreement will not be valid and Kohlhaas will be punished(executed). You shouldnt forget Princess is the one who caused Kohlhaas’s wife to die! Kohlhaas accepts this offer and disbands his army, he also gets all the weapons from men, some of his followers are confused and have no idea what to do, his youngest servant who was also with him from the beginning, is angry and refuses to disband, leave their cause and asks for what did Cesar die? Just to bring you justice?(I %100 agree with the kid.) But Kohlhaas says no, we disband… So the princess comes to see him afterwards and says you did well, although you could kill me you chose not to, you are very brave, you shouldnt be alone and have some protection. Kohlhaas thanks her. Lets not forget Kohlhaas hangs his own man for stealing but gives chance to live to his wife’s murderers!!! The baron is just going to be accused of treating the horses badly, not for killing his wife or torturing Kohlhaas’s servant Cesar, and then what about the Princess, she is responsible for the death of his wife too so what punishment does she get? Totally bullshit. He disbands the army so that the Baron would get judged again for treating his horses badly not for killing his wife!!! Facepalm…
Not so long after, Princess’s men come to arrest Kohlhaas, claiming that his men attacked somewhere, but Kohlhaas says I have no men as you see, but they say agreement is agreement, they are your men. So they take him to execute, not to forget the Baron takes care of the wounded horses very well and return them to Kohlhaas in very good, healthy condition on the day of Kohlhaas’s execution, and Baron receives 3 years in prison. Also I forgot to mention Kohlhaas has a daughter who is like 7-8 years old, who will take care of her? He leaves her to a priest, the daughter is of course pissed off with Kohlhaas’s stupid decisions, she will have to grow orphan… So thats the end of the story, Kohlhaas dies… It is also my fault to watch this movie I have checked the genres in imdb now again and there is no “Action” tag. But hey wouldnt you think it is a war/action movie when you saw the below picture as well?
I would give this movie 2/10, 2 points because the scenes Kohlhaas making love to his wife Judith were hot, thats all 🙂 I think the writers of the movie are trolls and just wanted to troll people, maybe they said Braveheart is already filmed, we should have a different ending and be original, but they totally sucked and this Christianity promotion in the movie of the old priest really annoyed me a lot(because the priest tells him to forget the unjust behavior done by Baron and his wife’s death!), I dont know why they did it, I heard movies promoting Christianity pay less taxes but dont know if it is true, all in all a sucks movie… As you may have noticed after 2 years this is my first review, I didnt have much time and I still dont have time, this review gave me cancer 🙁 but I thought I should warn you all and save you few hours…
Here is a really pretty awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard movie, I enjoyed watching it a lot and only the trailer would be enough
for you to consider watching. As you can guess from the name one guy discovers lying, this means there was no lying before and everyone was honest. They are deadly honest, no hiding anything etc. they say whatever on their mind is, even to their boss, their partners, their family and so on … For example the girl opens the door late and says sorry I was masturbating. On their date the girl’s cell rings and its her mother.She describes the man to her mom; he is fat he has a flat nose, he is poor etc. Something like Jim Carrey’s movie but in this one all of them are telling the truth. Our man is the guy who dated the beautiful girl Anna McDoogles, as he is poor and fired from his job he goes to the bank to draw his last money but the system is not working at the moment so the accountant cannot check how much he has and asks sir how much would you like to draw, the guy thinks hmmm the system is not
working so I can tell whatever amount I want he has 300 in his account but he says 800, at the moment the system becomes online and the guy freaks out but she says wait you got only 300?Must be a mistake of the system , wait sir I will give you, your 800 (as nobody lies in the world, everybody believes each other).So he discovers lying. Then he starts benefiting from it like telling a hot chick if we don’t have sex in 10 mins the world is gonna collapse. The woman believes him and they immediately go to a hotel room, she says hurry hurry the world is gonna collapse, but the guys says wait I don’t even know your name lets get to know each other I got some latest information that the world can stand 1 hour more etc. 🙂 so these parts make it funny and he is the
only one can lie.When his mother is dying he tells her a lot of lies about the afterlife, for her to go happily, like everybody will have their own mansion when they die.The doctors witness this and the next morning everybody is around his house asking for whats gonna happen after life! SO he creates his own religion and God(the man above the sky). He is the only one who can talk to the man above the sky, you can basicly understand that in this part they are making fun of religion and God, like giving a message in a funny way that God and religion does not exist.I find the message successful, hope all can get it 🙂 But one thing he never lies to his date(future wife).The woman does not find him attractive and thinks they will have ugly children after marriage that is why she doesn’t want to marry him but when she discovers his lying ability, she understands that she is the only person he didn’t lie, thats why she fells in love with him, they marry and happy end 🙂 They also have a child afterwards who can also… 🙂 Well see it yourself 😉
-Oh yeaaah one of the movies I enjoyed watching a lot!Robert Downey Jr. is really cool.If you know and heard about Sherlock Holmes before then you should be familiar with the film.He is very intelligent and from small details he can tell who you are , what you ate, where have you been, if you are engaged , if you have children or not etc.His observation power is extreme!So what would a person with these attributes do?
-He is a private investigator of course.He has a loyal helper also his neighbor Doctor Watson, they go on missions together.Watson seems really fed up with Holmes but he is still very loyal. He wants to quit every time because he wants to marry, but Holmes succeeds teasing him and they go from one adventure to another.
-Holmes pretty much solves all the cases brilliantly but in the movie he is having a challenging case. Lord Blackwood, he looks like Dracula and practices dark magic, he resurrects from the grave, he is bulletproof etc. of course there is no magic but only genious plans, and who has to reveal these? Of course Sherlock Holmes, the movie is funny, and with lots of exciting adventure.I would give 8/10 to this movie and from the last scene we understand that there will be a second one coming! Update, second one came already 😀
I would like to write about The Dictator today, I watched a while ago on the Cinema, when I first saw the trailer I cried from laughing, laughed and laughed so I said it is a must see 🙂
The movie is mocking of the dictators, very funny! I love Sacha Baron Cohen and his sarcasm … brilliant!He plays the Admiral General Aladeen, the dictator of Wadiya =) he executes everyone against him asap,
he has also a right hand man who betrays him when he visits USA, they cut his beard and replace him with his double, who is supposed to take shots and hits instead of him =) Without his beard Admiral Aladeen is not recognized
and thus he is obliged to live a normal ordinary person’s life.As you may guess he is used to luxury and comfortable life style, he is having many difficulties and those are the fun parts, he meets the grocery market manager Zoey(Anna Faris) although she is usually very hot in the movie she is playing a less attractive role with short hair but she was perfect for the mission!She is a human rights activist and thinks Aladeen is an immigrant who is in need of help, after learning Zoey protests and is against Dictatorship he introduces himself as “Allison Burgers“.Yeah Aladeen is not so creative and whenever he is asked his name he always reads up nearby signs like “Employees must wash hands”.
Finally he mocks USA as well with making a final speech which delivers the message; US government is no different than Dictators 🙂 I congratulate him with being so brave and making such a movie I guess this requires lots of guts … and I am still surprised how can this movie be shown all around the world including USA. Well long live Sascha and Sarcasm FTW!!!
Here we go I am starting my website’s re-opening with my favorite of all times! VVVVVVV forrrr Vendetta 🙂 ahhhh I am so so so much thankful to Wachowskis for producing this and serving to us!I cant describe the love I have for this film, the only one I can watch for a second time 🙂
Now I am sure everybody interested in movies have watched this but if not here I come 🙂 The movie starts with Guy Fawkes history so that we know what V wants, he wants to blow up the parliament and destroy the government! ” People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.” I totally agree with this quote!The world would be a better place actually without governments … The actual movie starts with a classic favorite scene of mine again “Leave the girl alone” scene 🙂 Bad guys are about to rape the innocent girl and V comes in to save her 🙂 he does this in a very charismatic and astonishing way that you can have an orgasm while watching hah 😛 am I really exaggerating?Sorry cant help but I looove this movie 🙂 Evey Hammond is our innocent girl, characterized by Natalie Portman, and Hugo Weaving is V, but in the beginning of the movie there was another actor for V later I dont know for what reason but they swapped with Hugo …V is a very clever, mastermind criminal, starts showing up with destroying the Old Bailey.After this the government is after him, but of course they cannot find him and he is hiding in the old deserted underground train tunnels.His plan to hijack the TV Channel was marvellous, there I said everything is logical, no super powers! When you see Rambo fighting against 100, you say naaaaaah … this is impossible but when V does it is really possible with his plan 🙂 the movie is realistic! Although the stage which brought V to his current stand in the movie with reading thousands of books, mastering martial arts, cleaning the underground tunnels in years and hiding with his look must have been difficult in the beginning.V is wearing a mask and a costume because his all body was burnt in Larkhill. He was one of the prisoners whom they tested chemical weapons on. But with the accident he succeeded escaping and his revenge story began. In years, he made a great plan where everything worked like falling dominos. He hunted the responsibles one by one and when doing this he gained the trust and friendship of the citizens. He is mega self-confident and good at fighting, the final fight scene with Creedy is also impressive.Ah I also shouldnt forget to add; V is a true gentlemen!Some best quotes from V for Vendetta:
Evey Hammond: Are you like a… crazy person?
V:I’m quite sure they will say so.
- V: I can assure you, I mean you no harm.
- Evey: Who are you?
- V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
- Evey: Well, I can see that.
- V: Of course you can. I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
- Evey: Oh, right.
- V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
- Evey: [reading inscription on mirror] Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici…
- V: “By the power of truth I, while living, have conquered the universe”.
- Evey: Personal motto?
- V: From Faust.
- Evey: That’s about trying to cheat the devil, isn’t it?
- V: It is
- Creedy: Take off your mask.
- V: No.
- [Creedy nods and two Fingermen approach V; one tries to remove his mask, but V kills them both]
- Creedy: Defiant until the end, huh? You won’t cry like him, will you? You’re not afraid of death. You’re like me.
- V: The only thing you and I have in common, Mr. Creedy, is that we are both about to die.
- Creedy: How do you imagine that’ll happen?
- V: With my hands around your neck.
- Creedy: Bollocks. We’ve swept this whole place. You’ve got nothing. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have guns.
- V: No. What you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I’m no longer standing, because if I am, you’ll all be dead before you’ve reloaded.
- Creedy: That’s impossible. Kill him!
- [Creedy’s men open fire on V, who remains standing after their guns are empty, with many rounds fired]
- V: My turn.
- [V keeps his word and slays all of Creedy’s men, while Creedy frantically reloads his revolver]
- Creedy: (starts shooting the approaching V) Die! Die! Why won’t you die? (his gun clicks empty) Why won’t you die?
- V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.
- [V grabs Creedy by the neck, lifts him up and pins him to the fence; within seconds there is a sickening snap, and Creedy goes limp]
Evey Hammond: Everyone remembers what happened that night and what it meant for this country. But I will always remember the man and what he meant to me.
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